I hadn't met Matt's family yet which was causing me some anxiety. I know that he said that they were thrilled about Scarlett, but I couldn't necessarily say the same about myself, not until they had the opportunity to meet me and get to know who I am.
I got that opportunity yesterday. Man was I nervous. I've never been so nervous to meet parents before, I've never had an issue. I usually work my "sweet and innocent" angle, however, clearly pregnant kinda destroys the whole I'm sweet and innocent thing. So I went for being myself. We headed out to Indiana at 8am, it's an hour and a half drive which isn't too terrible. Wheatfield is beautiful. It's the size of Iola, WI but looks like Waupaca, WI. I love it. It looks like it was a good place to grow a family.
I brought flowers for his mom, the same kind my mom likes, and was pleasantly surprised to get a big hug when I walked into his home. Immediately when I walked in I felt calm. His parents are wonderful. Why I would even be nervous about that is beyond me because they raised such an incredible son. I was grilled about everything from my genetics to my goals. I expected it, here comes this girl with a belly that they've never met. They embraced Scarlett and I whole heartedly. I was afraid that they would think I was trying to trap their son, so I made it a point to explain myself, my plans, my goals, my hopes, my dreams, all of that.
I was able to see pictures of Matt as a baby, he was an absolutely beautiful baby and child. Both of his parents think Scarlett will be beautiful. Originally Matt said that baby girl has my nose, but looking at baby pictures of him, our little girl has his nose. I love it. I can't wait to see what of him and what of me that she has. The one thing we all agreed on is that she will be gorgeous.
It was a great day, lots of talking, getting to know one another and relaxing. His mom made homemade lasagna for dinner, it was amazing. I invited her to the baby shower, also to be in the delivery room when she is born(if she likes). She has two sons and a grandson and this is her first girl. I want her to be there with my mom and Matt when she comes screaming into the world. I want her to be able to have that experience with us. I also passed on that my parents invited them to stay at our house for a few days when she's born. It's so important to me that she is included in all of this. I don't want her to feel that because she is in Indiana that she is removed from her granddaughter.
I love how much they love Scarlett. I love how excited they are about her. I love how they light up when they talk about her. I love that they want to be family. His dad put his hands on my belly and told me that she feels good. I agreed, I told him that she does just feel good, all around good. She has a good soul. She's calm, and stubborn and feisty. I thought that was funny that he explained it the same way I've explained it to other people.
We stayed for over 10 hours before heading home. It went 100x better than I ever expected. His parents are just great. I can tell that we will all have a great relationship. Scarlett is the most loved little girl on this planet. She has two great sets of grandparents who adore her. I hope she can feel just how loved she truly is. I feel so relieved to have the love and support of his parents, it makes me feel like I'm doing things right and that everything will be just fine. I'm happy that they know that I am genuine, independent, respectful and grateful. I can't wait for them to get to know me better and vise versa.
That being said I do feel relieved. Emotional, but relieved. I had so much pent up anxiety about meeting them. I've been really stressed out, overwhelmed and feeling like I've been spreading myself thin. I have been trying my best to keep everyone happy and not step on anyones toes. It is a lot of work walking this tightrope. I literally want everyone to be happy in my life and Scarlett's life. I know that some things are out of my control, but the things I can control (or things I think I can) I'm stressed about. I want everything to be the best for Scarlett. I know now more than ever that I have the support she and I both need but sometimes I feel like I'm alone. I know that Matt is standing beside me and our parents have our backs...but I feel alone. Especially recently. I think I'm just getting scared and nervous now that she's 14 weeks and 6 days away from being here and there is still so much I need to figure out and organize. I want nothing but the absolute best for my little girl and I will do everything in my power to make sure this little blessing has the life she deserves and nothing less.
My belly has really puffed out in the last few days. It's crazy, both her and my uterus are growing like crazy, I think she's run out of room on the inside and is now pushing my belly out. I think she's starting to get cramped, she doesn't flip around quite as much and is still breech. She reminds me by kicking my bladder and cervix lol. She moves around a lot, lots of elbows and knees and wiggling. I get so much joy laying on my back with my hands on my belly feeling her move about. I take the time every day to appreciate her moving around and have that "quality time" with her.
How far along? 25 weeks 1 day
Maternity clothes? Not today
Stretch marks? Found a new one of my thigh, but that's it
Sleep: I haven't been sleeping well at all, I can't fall or stay asleep.
Best moment this week: Meeting my new family
Miss Anything? Feeling carefree
Movement: Girl is wigging as we speak :)
Food cravings: Shrimp and chocolate. Not together
Anything making you queasy or sick: mmmm just the heartburn but nothing food wise
Gender: Little lady
Labor Signs: Nada
Symptoms: Antsy and my upper back hurts. Not my lower, which is interesting
Belly Button in or out? Shallow, but it's too deep to pop out
Happy or Moody most of the time: I am happy, I'm just very emotional and feeling overwhelmed this week
Looking forward to: Saturday, this is a busy busy week.
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